STROKE survivors are assumed to be the person most affected after an incident while family members who sacrifice their time and patience to care for them are often forgotten.
Housewife L.L. and her children had depended on her 45-year-old technician husband to provide for the family.
Unfortunately, during a trip to Singapore to attend his sister’s wedding in June, he suffered a stroke and was hospitalised for a week before being transferred back to Ipoh.
“I had sleepless nights after receiving a call from my sister-in-law that my husband had a stroke.
“I tried very hard to control my emotions when I finally saw him at the hospital in Singapore,” she related.
Life for L.L. was never the same again after that and suddenly, the burden of providing for the family fell on her shoulders.
At the same time, she had to care for her husband.
Good exercise: Teng (right) together with volunteers, carers and stroke survivors during a physiotherapy session. “My parents-in-law have been very supportive, pooling their resources together to chip in for our monthly expenses while I try my best to find odd jobs here and there,” said the housewife, who had worked as a sales promoter before she was married.
Her children, two sons aged 15 and 12, and an 11-year-old daughter, were still trying to cope and adjust to their father’s condition despite five months had passed, she added.
“It was really discouraging to see my husband slumped in a wheelchair at first, but I’m glad he’s getting better.
“At least now he can walk using a walking stick after undergoing physiotherapy exercises at the Perak branch of the National Stroke Association of Malaysia (Nasam).
“We are determined to make it through these difficult times together as a family, and so we do not point fingers at anyone or care about what others think about us,” she said.
Sex, according to L.L., often becomes a taboo topic and is not talked about when one spouse suffers a stroke, thinking that there is no longer need for intimacy or sexual relationships.
“Many are confused while some don’t know what to do.
“So they just ignore it and do not become intimate with their spouse, which is detrimental to their relationship,” she said.
She advised the couple to start by communicating with each other about their needs, not being shy to talk about the subject and maintain physical contact.
“It may feel odd to some, but as husband and wife, the only difference is in taking a slower pace and being more careful,” she said.
Apart from husband and wife relationships, working adults are often faced with the tough decision of whether to choose their career or quit their jobs to take care of their parents.
Former marketing executive Chin Y.Y. put his career on hold to care for his father after the elderly man suffered two strokes, leaving the latter confined to a wheelchair.
“We had our mother care for him after his first stroke but when he suffered a second stroke in 2009, I knew then that I had to put my career plans on hold to spend more time with him,” he said.
Chin, 41, who was working in Kuala Lumpur at the time, lived on his own savings and money chipped in by his other siblings each month.
“It was hard to let go at first but I eventually saw it as a vital time for my father.
“Rather than focussing on my own needs, I realised it should be about helping and caring for him.
“Looking back at the improvement he had made just months after undergoing physiotherapy at Nasam, I do not regret taking time off to be by his side.
“It may be hard for someone to put their life on hold but once you see the result of what love and care can do, it encourages you to continue going on,” he said.
Perak Nasam senior rehabilitation therapist Irene Teng said carers played a vital role in the recovery of stroke survivors.
The attention and encouragement given to the survivors would help spur them on, she said.
“We have a policy that carers, meaning family members and not maids, must be present during physiotherapy sessions, to provide them with support and encouragement.
“Not only do stroke survivors receive care and support but carers, too, receive indirect support when they interact with their peers.
“As a result, carers become more encouraged and find comfort in knowing that they are not alone in caring for the survivors,” she said.
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